Lindsay Lohan’s bikini- holy crap, WHERE ARE HER BOOBS?!

Lindsay Lohan went for a dip while partying in Cannes over the weekend. Is anyone else terribly disappointed by these pics as I am? I mean, you'd figure Lindsay Lohan in a bikini would look jugs-rific but not so much. So basically, Lindsay Lohan naked = meh. Lindsay Lohan in a bikini = meh meh. But Lindsay Lohan rocking the push-up bra = WOO-HOO!!! Remind me to send her a gift card to Victoria's Secret. And some super glue. EDIT: Speculation is high that this isn't Lindsay Lohan, so I added some more shots. Personally, I'm having my doubts. No boobies, no freckles but the face and body look like her. Also the shots were taken in Eden Roc where Lindsay is staying. This will be one of the greatest debates of our time - until later when I post some wicked ass Kim Kardashian pics. Bam! I just popped you with a teaser. You should really wear a cup when visiting this site.

Jessica Simpson - wait for it - IN A BIKINI!

Jessica Simpson headed off to Mexico with her mom and dad after Ashlee's weekend wedding. Fortunately, the paparazzi followed her and managed to catch Jessica, I do not shitteth upon thee, giving herself a breast exam and chilling in a bikini. On the flip-side, these pics are a little grainy, so you'll have to use your imagination like I am. Right now Jessica Simpson is covering her ample bosom with suntan lotion while Snarf from ThunderCats watches. And, oh, hey, here comes Ariel the Little Mermaid with some pudding. Ha ha! I smell food fight. Snarf, that'd be your cue to leave. This is man business.

Karina Smirnoff nipples Mario Lopez in the face, gets hurled in disgust

Karina Smirnoff and her Dancing With The Stars lover/partner A.C. Slater hit the beach in Miami over the holiday weekend. Slater and Karina attempted to pull off some dance moves in the ocean until Karina's bare nipple hit him in the nose. A.C. responded by dumping her ass face first into the sea. All, while screaming, "Ew! EW! Ohmygod ohmygod it touched my nose! Does anyone have a wetnap? Seriously." NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions. Unless your boss is cool with Saved By the Bell characters getting nipped in the retina then, by all means, proceed.

Kim Kardashian has a butt - or does she??

Kim Kardashian threw a party over the weekend at White House and apparently walked down a catwalk greeting fans. But none of that's important. What is important is the fact that I've seen less insulation on a fucking astronaut. So, without further ado and in spite of the cries from our server, I ask you, intrepid readers, the most controversial question of our time: Is Kim Kardashian wearing a buttpad? DISCUSS!

Britney Deals With The Raunchy Video Scandal

The pop princess and her husband don’t want the saucy tape to be made public :-

Britney fears that the allegedly x-rated video she made with her husband Kevin Federline will be released on the

market.

The pop princess and her husband could be facing an embarrassing exposure if someone reveals the saucy secret to all their fans.

Apparently, someone from Britney’s group allegedly recorded the nasty video while Britney was pregnant with her first baby, Sean Preston. He is reportedly threatening to release it.

According to The Sun online, a source was quoted by US Weekly magazine as saying: "He has threatened to release raunchy footage of the two taken before Spears looked pregnant."

It seems that a copy of the original tape viewed by the couple's lawyers "elicited laughter and disgust".

But Kevin and Britney, whose Chaotic reality TV series is currently airing on digital channel E4, are desperately seeking to avoid the public release of their home-made video.

Colin Farrell has also found himself in the same situation earlier this year.
The Hollywood actor appealed to the Court to block the release of a tape he made with his ex-girlfriend, Playboy playmate Nicole Narain.

Limp Bizkit front man Fred Durst also sued 10 website operators this spring, for posting the rocker's 2003 homemade sex tape after it was stolen from his computer.